Over sharing….all the time

CrossFit, Pregnancy, and some other random thoughts

Why I love being pregnant for the 4th time January 19, 2015

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 9:11 am

Avery and Brady horrifiedIn keeping with my silver lining, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow personality, I’ve come up with all the reasons why I love being pregnant for the 4th time.

Ahem. So here they are:

1. People stop offering you pregnancy advice, because you’ve doubled down on the number of pregnancies most women endure.

2. I know how to handle stupid questions. “So will this be the last one?” “I don’t think so. Wouldn’t half a dozen kids look so much better on our Christmas cards?”

3. I don’t give a rats ass if I am already “showing”. No need to squish myself into my jeans for the sake of trying to not look pregnant. I bought a 3-pack of XL leggings from Meijer about 4 weeks ago.

4. I have 3 other little people who get to be amazed by my growing belly. Really, what I mean is, I’m so goddamn busy that time is flying by!

5. My midwife doesn’t even want to see me for like 6 more weeks. I’m an old pro.

6. I know how to work the system. People will go out of their way to help a pregnant lady. I exploit them constantly.

7. I can pretty much make up any pregnancy rule I see fit, and people will believe me. “Oh, I actually can’t unload the dishwasher. All that trunk flexion puts too much strain on my uterus.”

In all seriousness, I love being pregnant. Sure, I could do without the constant nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, back zits and bloating. But hey. I’m a beautiful vessel of life who can’t unload the dishwasher, remember?

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What I traded January 14, 2015

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 9:51 pm

Jen unveiled 1.pngDAMN I used to be hot. And not just in good lighting, or when I was wearing the perfect outfit. I never had to worry about making a skinny face in pictures, tucking my muffin tops into my Lululemons, or whether or not my arm looked fat in a tank top. I was an amazing physical specimen. 9% body fat. No jiggle. No photoshop. Just 100% pure sexy-sex kitten.

IF ONLY. This picture was taken in 2009, shortly before I got married. Looking back, I feel that’s when I looked my best. I don’t think I appreciated it at the time. Matter of fact, I KNOW I didn’t appreciate it. I’d stare at my reflection and find all the things that were wrong. Everything I wanted to change. I’d obsess over my imperfections and shortcomings. If only I was a little leaner. A little faster. A little better. IF ONLY I COULD DO A STUPID MUSCLE-UP!

NOW. Fast forward to today. Today I’m soft, squishy, uneven. I took what I had back then and traded it in. I traded push up bras for nursing bras. Late nights drinking fine wine for sleepless nights rocking my babies. Visible abs for a stretched out belly button. Sexy clothes for something easy to nurse in. A 7:00 Fran for a 47 minute bed time routine that gets longer each night.

BEST. And ya know what? It was the best trade of my life. The way it feels to be greeted by a tiny person flinging themselves into your arms is better than size 3 pants. The pride I feel when my son says he loves me without me saying it first is immeasurable. The serenity I feel with each sleepy breath on my chest and the joy inside me as I hear them giggling, laughing, thriving; it all makes my heart swell.

MAGIC. You see….I made that. What started as a tiny blob of cells magically grew inside me to become a whole person. Each beat of their hearts reminds me how precious and wondrous they really are. It’s like the coolest magic trick my body has ever done. Even cooler than dropping under 60kg’s into a perfect squat snatch. So while my body might not be pinup worthy these days, it is a magical vessel of life that makes me proud to be who I am.

TIME. Sure, these days I spend more time yelling “STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER WITH YOUR SHARK!”, and a lot less time setting gym records and tanning. But ya know what? Some day I will have all the time in the world for the gym. For single digit body fat. My kids are only little once. Only fascinated by bubbles and ladybugs for a short while. The sound of their scurrying feet as I chase them as “the blanket monster” will soon fade away.

I traded what I had for the most rewarding and fulfilling life I can imagine. Each day might be a challenge and an adventure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. (But I saved the yellow bra and underwear just in case it fits again some day)

 

You don’t need to feel sorry for me December 3, 2014

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 11:11 am

Our Family GrowsREMEMBER. So…..remember when I didn’t go through with my tubal ligation? Yeah, so, I’m pregnant! I think I’ll call this one “The Grand Finale”. I mean, I wasn’t sure I had anywhere to put #3…so you can only imagine my dilemma at finding out #4 is on the way.

 

YAK. I’m trying to be all “there’s a life growing inside me, oh joyous world!” but instead I’m like “hey Bill, grab that Meijer bag in case I puke in the car.” All I can do is barf and lay on the couch. It’s awful. Brady follows me into the bathroom and pats my back and tells me, “I’m gonna pee on Mommy’s barf”. The only baby I was this sick with was Katelyn. I can’t eat, but I can’t NOT eat either. I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of either feeling AMAZING, or finding my way back to the toilet.

 

QUESTION. My new favorite question is “were you guys trying to have another one? Did you want more kids?” Well, yeah, jackass. We know how babies are made, and so we made one. I think it’s people’s way of telling me that in their almighty holy opinion, I shouldn’t be having more kids. As if somehow, they get to weigh in on this super important decision of whether or not my family is big enough.

 

PLANNED. I guess I didn’t realize that people would be so truly bothered by hearing that we WANTED to have more kids. “Was this planned?” they all ask. As if there’s some unspoken rule that I’m just supposed to have one boy, one girl, and be happy with that. And what does it mean to have a planned pregnancy anyways? If I said, “no, this wasn’t planned”, would you feel better? Would it help you sleep better at night knowing I was pacing the floors and wringing my hands because I didn’t plan on getting pregnant again? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 

LOVE. All I know is that there is nothing better in my whole life than my kids. Every single day I am overwhelmed with how much my heart explodes with love for them. And I promise, I have so much love in my heart that I can love ALL my kids. Hell, I can probably even love a few more.

 

FAMILY. For those of you who don’t understand this feeling, well, then continue feeling a weird sense of pity for me that I’m going to have a 4th baby. But for those of you who have big families, small families, or medium families and know the true wonder, joy and adventure that comes from raising beautiful children, high five. I know you won’t ask me if this was “planned”, and you’ll just be happy for me.

 

Home birth – Take 2! December 21, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 11:16 am

Avery 15 minutes oldIf you had told me 5 years ago that I would give birth at home, TWICE, I would have laughed in your face. I would have thought you were absolutely out of your mind. Just give me the drugs. Give me the hospital. Give me the electronically coded bracelet so that nobody steals my baby.

I don’t know what changed for me. It might have something to do with watching my Dad whither away and die in a hospital. Somehow when someone dies in a hospital it seems….less personal. Unnatural. My grandfather passed away doing something he loved – he was outside shoveling snow when he suffered a heart attack. THAT is how people are supposed to die. Peacefully. At home. And perhaps that’s how I came to realize that death AND LIFE were meant to happen at home.

I went into labor about 3:30AM on September 17th. I was laying in bed and just couldn’t get comfortable. I was having a few contractions, but my water hadn’t broken. Historically that’s what always started my labor. This time, labor wanted to leave me guessing. When Bill woke up at 4:30AM to coach classes, I grabbed his arm and whispered, “I’m about 83% sure I’m in labor.” His response was, “Shit. What does that even mean?” He started calling our coaching team to see if anyone could fill in for him. About 20 minutes later I looked at him, still frantically dialing his phone and texting, and said “Remember when I was only 83% sure? Now I’m 99.9% sure.” And so…we called the midwife.

Don’t worry, I was so completely prepared for this birth, everything went perfect and magical. Bill and I got our sheets swapped out, the supplies all laid out, and the lights dimmed. I started listening right away to my Hypnobabies CD’s for labor. And to avoid the awkward transition of having to stagger from the bathroom floor to my bed while 9cm dilated, I decided to labor in my bed.

I found I was most comfortable kneeling on the bed and leaning forward onto the birthing ball. I rocked back and forth during contractions, and occasionally laid down between so I could rest a little. After leaning on that ball for what seemed like an eternity, my contractions started to get really intense. My hypnobabies relaxation techniques kept me relaxed the whole time. I’m not going to bullshit you and say labor was painless. I definitely felt everything that was happening. What I found helpful was that I viewed what I was feeling as productive pain. I visualized the baby coming down, and I let my body do its work.

Once it was time to push, I was hot. Like, burning hot. Bill pointed out that I was still wearing my t-shirt. I guess I was trying to spare myself some shred of modesty…which seems odd when there are people with headlamps staring at my vagina. Hey, I never claimed to be a completely rational person.

It’s worth mentioning that the lights stayed dim, and my soothing hypnobabies CD’s played the whole time I was in labor. I was perfectly in sync with what that lady with her calm voice was saying. She’d start talking about breathing out your baby and starting to push, and I’d push. She’d talk about baby crowning, and baby was crowning. The midwife even commented on how in sync everything was. It was like that lady and her soothing voice was the boss of my labor. Well, except for the part when I felt like I was going to vomit. Pretty sure she wasn’t helping with THAT.

Avery came into the world at 7:10AM after only a few minutes of pushing. Her first experiences in this world were peaceful. Quiet. Soothing. I had ditched the labor ball, and had my hands on the footboard of my bed. I was a little more prepared than I was with Brady. I remember thinking that I needed to lay back so that I could hold her. Only problem was she was completely covered in vernix. It was like someone smeared cream cheese all over my baby. Seriously. I could have stuck celery and raisins to her and laid her out as an appetizer. I was trying not to be grossed out. I was trying to be a loving, excited new Mom. Instead, all I could think about was fucking cream cheese. YUCK.

I kept my hands on her, keeping her warm, for a long time. The longer I held her, the more I realized that I was 100% totally and completely in love with her. She was perfect.

My placenta didn’t want to deliver right away. It was the weirdest feeling. The midwife kept saying, “Ok, now push for me.” I’m like…a champion pusher. I could go pro and get sponsored if pushing out babies was a competitive sport. But for some reason, my stupid uterus didn’t want to contract even one more time. Lazy, lazy uterus. The midwife and her nurse both started to get all rush-y and panic-y when I couldn’t muster up the strength for even one more push. Apparently I was bleeding heavily. The midwife was ready to administer a syringe of something mystical, when she decided I should try eating some dark chocolate. Would you believe that shit worked? The dark chocolate made my uterus contract one last time, and out it came! VOILA!

Everything went as planned. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to bring Avery into this world. Brady stayed asleep the whole time, both our Moms were downstairs when she was born, and my sister was even here. Katelyn got to stay home from school and the midwife let her cut the umbilical cord. How cool is THAT!? I feel blessed to have had such loving, supportive people by my side to help me delivery my beautiful baby girl.

 

The 4th Quarter Update July 3, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 8:12 pm

Pre Door County EnthusiasmTRIMESTERS. It absolutely baffles me that the entire universe agrees when a woman reaches her 2nd trimester, but there are literally 3 different calculations for figuring out when you reach the 3rd trimester. There’s a difference of a few weeks between these calculations. WEEKS. It’s so weird. You’d think that you would just take the 40 weeks of pregnancy and divide them into 3 equal parts and BOOM! Trimesters! Maybe it’s because 40 doesn’t divide evenly by 3….so perhaps it should be pregnancy QUARTERS instead. In which case, I’m one week away from being in the 4th quarter.

 

FU-PELVIS. There is some good news for once! My severe case of FU-PELVIS has packed it’s fucking bags and left. I’m going to pretend like it’s some sort of pregnancy miracle and tell you that I paid $400 on ebay for a vial of Mother Teresa’s tears so I could sprinkle them on my broken body….but none of that’s true. Essentially the curse of FU-PELVIS is that the only thing that makes it better is to ignore my obsession for working out. No more squatting, dead-lifting or even push pressing. I am banished to the land of Soccer Moms with their lame-ass jogging strollers taking long “walks” and calling that exercise. Psh. I just keep telling myself that by taking a long vacation from CrossFit, it’s actually going to make me a BETTER athlete when I return.

GETAWAY. I honestly believe there is no limit to how many vacations I could use right now. We just got back from a long weekend in Door County, and it was absolute HEAVEN. It doesn’t even matter what we did while we were up there….it was just the glory of being away from my house. Brady and I spend a lot of time at home these days, and the cabin fever is starting to make me twitchy. I literally have a week and a half at home, a weekend in Sheboygan with my Mom, followed immediately by another weekend in Door County. I figure after baby #3 arrives I’ll have a solid 60 days of newborn hell and breastfeeding frenzy to prepare for. Lots of time pre-baby staring at water from a rocking chair is probably the only thing that is going to save my sanity.

 

F-U Pelvis May 31, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:45 pm

I'd rather dieSPD. Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction. It’s a mouth full. I can’t ever remember what it’s called, so I call it “fuck you, pelvis”, or just FUP for short. And while I might not remember what it’s called, I am constantly aware of its’ nagging presence during this pregnancy.

 

WOWZA. It’s kind of a combination of being electrocuted in the groin, and stabbed in the pubic bone simultaneously. It is caused by my body over producing the hormone “relaxin”, therefore turning my typically stable pelvis into a pliable puddle of play doh. It sucks. SUCKS. I’m 24 weeks along today, and it started around week 18. My hope was that my body would kind of level off somewhere between “dull pain” and “constant nagging” but instead I have been skyrocketed into the orbit of “electrocution and stabbing”. It hurts to sit too long. Or stand. Or sleep. Or walk.

 

JELLO. I can actually feel my ass getting wider. My whole body is turning into a jiggly, gelatinous structure. I managed to work out on Tuesday and do some hang power snatches and rowing, but it’s the first time I was able to work out in about 20 days. I’m going CRAZY. It’s even painful to leave the house and have my daily chat with the Meijer cashiers. I’ll just be walking and all of a sudden ZING! It actually takes my breath away, and I stop walking and grab my hips. People LOVE when pregnant ladies do that shit in public. They always stop for a second and stare. I kind of think they’re hoping to see my water break. I’d probably do the same thing.

 

WALK. Normally I wouldn’t start the “pregnant waddle” until around 34 weeks, but it’s in full swing with all this pelvis and  hip pain. It actually looks like I’m walking on the sidewalk with one foot off the curb. bow-chicka-bow-bow! It’s hot. Not as hot as the Prenatal Cradle that I am supposed to wear to help with the pain…but still pretty hot. Can you believe that contraption? What a ridiculous piece of crap. You should see how funny it looks from the back!

 

Grocery store story May 6, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:52 pm

Talking to a pregnant womanNON-PREGNANT ME. I don’t remember exactly what I was like as a non-pregnant person. I’d like to think that I was incredibly sensitive to what pregnant ladies are dealing with. I probably never touched a belly without asking, like ever. And I also was courteous enough to only share positive stories about my labor and delivery experience with them. Yep. That’s totally what I was like.

 

GROCERY STORE LADY. Ok, so I touched bellies a LOT. And I always discuss how I pooped on my bed during delivery…..but at least I didn’t seek out random pregnant strangers in the grocery store and make them listen to my stories. I was grocery shopping and was stopped by someone I had never met – EVER. She asked me how far along I was, and them proceeded to spend 10 minutes telling me all about her pregnancy. Um, hello?? Don’t you see the annoyed teenager who is sighing loudly, or my wiggling toddler who is trying desperately to escape from the cart??

 

MAGICAL. It was as if this woman felt that her pregnancy was so magical that it needed to be broadcast to every pregnant woman on Earth. Or…at least all the ones in the McHenry Meijer. And while I politely smiled and nodded while this woman spoke, inside my head I was screaming, “Unless you simultaneously grew a baby in your uterus, and a tiny unicorn in your ass JUST SHUT UP! NOBODY CARES!”

 

DREAMS. The only thing I can compare it to is hearing about someone else’s dreams in vivid detail. Katelyn does that to me all the time. “….and then Justin Bieber was there, and he had his shirt off and we flew away on a magic carpet, only the carpet was made of kittens!” Mmmmmhmmmm……that’s nice sweetie. Kittens. Bieber. Fucking awesome. As a side note – I’m pretty sure she knows I’m not listening. Every now and then she quizzes me on that shit. “Mom, remember that dream I told you about last week??” Um, no.

 

MYSTICAL SECRETS. So I guess what I’m saying is, unless you hold some mystical secrets to making labor painless, catching up on my laundry while simultaneously napping, or how to turn stretch marks into gummy worms so I can just eat them and they disappear – keep your stories to yourself in the grocery store!