I’m not too proud to admit that I have a defect. In fact, I pride myself on how often I admit to stuff. So here, goes……I occasionally lose my shit. Occasionally I go completely out of my mind and become a crazy, crying irrational human being. Once my shit is fully lost, I have been known to cry and yell at things that don’t even matter. Like my dryer not getting the clothes all the way dry. Or Pandora for playing the same song too many times.
See? That’s completely irrational. Then again, being a stay at home Mom doesn’t exactly lend itself well to maintaining my sanity. Want to know the worst part about losing your shit? There isn’t even anyone around to witness it. Brady and Avery don’t really count. There’s a tiny part of me that wants to FaceTime with my husband when I’m losing my shit just so my insanity can be seen by another adult. In my mind, that makes it a valid melt down. Having to EXPLAIN my meltdown to him when he gets him just doesn’t have the same effect.
There’s no satisfaction to losing your shit when it’s just your kids in the house. Their day isn’t changed one teeny bit if Mommy is crazier than a shit house rat. Brady just keeps playing with his trains, Avery sits like a lump and chews on something, and Gabby tilts her head in amazement. Yep. No satisfaction.
The good news is that this eruption only has to happen about once a month. It’s like a pressure valve for my soul. Maybe once I’m back in the gym regularly I won’t need this valve. I certainly haven’t ever had a need for it in the past. Perhaps my pressure valve can only be relieved by snatching heavy weights, or screaming at my bottle of 409 for not spraying evenly. Either way, it’s definitely preferred to relieve the pressure in the gym. I miss that place.