ANNOYED. Remember when I blogged quite annoyed-ly about how the internet was USELESS when it comes to advice on wrangling a toddler and a newborn simultaneously? I couldn’t believe there weren’t hoards of helpful Moms out there with pages and pages of blog content chock full of tips and pointers. I wanted some grand, almighty Mommy who had everything figured out to enlighten my baffled mind. There she’d be, makeup on, Starbucks in hand, all her children bathed, fed and playing peacefully while she clicked away on her keyboard with her perfect manicure. Pffffft.
AND NOW IT HITS ME.
BAD. Truth be told, there aren’t any helpful blogs because everyone with a toddler and a newborn is too busy, too tired, too hormonal and too out of their minds to find the time to blog. You’ll find your decision making abilities change drastically when you’re raising tiny people. Here are a few examples: (this could also be called “the list of reasons why I’m a bad Mom”)
– If the baby spits up on the floor, I occasionally let the dog lick it up as a time saver
– When my toddler decides he’s going to leap fearlessly from the coffee table to the couch instead of from the kitchen table to the floor, I consider that winning
– Say I am in the shower, shampoo in hair and the baby starts crying. Like….REALLY crying. As a Mom, I’m programmed to leap from the shower, dripping water everywhere, to make sure my newborn hasn’t accidentally swallowed razor blades (hey, it could happen)
– There is never enough time to get everything done in the morning. If I choose to eat a scoop of chocolate ice cream with shredded mini wheats on top for breakfast, it’s perfectly acceptable. After all, ice cream is made from milk, and milk and cereal go together ALL THE TIME
– When the toddler is particularly needy, I plant the seed in his head that when Daddy gets home, something super duper is going to happen. That way, when Daddy gets home, he bugs the shit out of him for an hour and I get some peace
HAPPY. See? I am suddenly a parent with questionable judgement. The good news is that everyone is happy and healthy. My kids are growing like weeds, well rested, and happy as can be. I fully plan on writing up a post on how my home birth went. But first I need to seize this rare moment of peace and quiet to go to the bathroom. Alone.