SPD. Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction. It’s a mouth full. I can’t ever remember what it’s called, so I call it “fuck you, pelvis”, or just FUP for short. And while I might not remember what it’s called, I am constantly aware of its’ nagging presence during this pregnancy.
WOWZA. It’s kind of a combination of being electrocuted in the groin, and stabbed in the pubic bone simultaneously. It is caused by my body over producing the hormone “relaxin”, therefore turning my typically stable pelvis into a pliable puddle of play doh. It sucks. SUCKS. I’m 24 weeks along today, and it started around week 18. My hope was that my body would kind of level off somewhere between “dull pain” and “constant nagging” but instead I have been skyrocketed into the orbit of “electrocution and stabbing”. It hurts to sit too long. Or stand. Or sleep. Or walk.
JELLO. I can actually feel my ass getting wider. My whole body is turning into a jiggly, gelatinous structure. I managed to work out on Tuesday and do some hang power snatches and rowing, but it’s the first time I was able to work out in about 20 days. I’m going CRAZY. It’s even painful to leave the house and have my daily chat with the Meijer cashiers. I’ll just be walking and all of a sudden ZING! It actually takes my breath away, and I stop walking and grab my hips. People LOVE when pregnant ladies do that shit in public. They always stop for a second and stare. I kind of think they’re hoping to see my water break. I’d probably do the same thing.
WALK. Normally I wouldn’t start the “pregnant waddle” until around 34 weeks, but it’s in full swing with all this pelvis and hip pain. It actually looks like I’m walking on the sidewalk with one foot off the curb. bow-chicka-bow-bow! It’s hot. Not as hot as the Prenatal Cradle that I am supposed to wear to help with the pain…but still pretty hot. Can you believe that contraption? What a ridiculous piece of crap. You should see how funny it looks from the back!