Over sharing….all the time

CrossFit, Pregnancy, and some other random thoughts

F-U Pelvis May 31, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:45 pm

I'd rather dieSPD. Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction. It’s a mouth full. I can’t ever remember what it’s called, so I call it “fuck you, pelvis”, or just FUP for short. And while I might not remember what it’s called, I am constantly aware of its’ nagging presence during this pregnancy.

 

WOWZA. It’s kind of a combination of being electrocuted in the groin, and stabbed in the pubic bone simultaneously. It is caused by my body over producing the hormone “relaxin”, therefore turning my typically stable pelvis into a pliable puddle of play doh. It sucks. SUCKS. I’m 24 weeks along today, and it started around week 18. My hope was that my body would kind of level off somewhere between “dull pain” and “constant nagging” but instead I have been skyrocketed into the orbit of “electrocution and stabbing”. It hurts to sit too long. Or stand. Or sleep. Or walk.

 

JELLO. I can actually feel my ass getting wider. My whole body is turning into a jiggly, gelatinous structure. I managed to work out on Tuesday and do some hang power snatches and rowing, but it’s the first time I was able to work out in about 20 days. I’m going CRAZY. It’s even painful to leave the house and have my daily chat with the Meijer cashiers. I’ll just be walking and all of a sudden ZING! It actually takes my breath away, and I stop walking and grab my hips. People LOVE when pregnant ladies do that shit in public. They always stop for a second and stare. I kind of think they’re hoping to see my water break. I’d probably do the same thing.

 

WALK. Normally I wouldn’t start the “pregnant waddle” until around 34 weeks, but it’s in full swing with all this pelvis and  hip pain. It actually looks like I’m walking on the sidewalk with one foot off the curb. bow-chicka-bow-bow! It’s hot. Not as hot as the Prenatal Cradle that I am supposed to wear to help with the pain…but still pretty hot. Can you believe that contraption? What a ridiculous piece of crap. You should see how funny it looks from the back!

 

Grocery store story May 6, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:52 pm

Talking to a pregnant womanNON-PREGNANT ME. I don’t remember exactly what I was like as a non-pregnant person. I’d like to think that I was incredibly sensitive to what pregnant ladies are dealing with. I probably never touched a belly without asking, like ever. And I also was courteous enough to only share positive stories about my labor and delivery experience with them. Yep. That’s totally what I was like.

 

GROCERY STORE LADY. Ok, so I touched bellies a LOT. And I always discuss how I pooped on my bed during delivery…..but at least I didn’t seek out random pregnant strangers in the grocery store and make them listen to my stories. I was grocery shopping and was stopped by someone I had never met – EVER. She asked me how far along I was, and them proceeded to spend 10 minutes telling me all about her pregnancy. Um, hello?? Don’t you see the annoyed teenager who is sighing loudly, or my wiggling toddler who is trying desperately to escape from the cart??

 

MAGICAL. It was as if this woman felt that her pregnancy was so magical that it needed to be broadcast to every pregnant woman on Earth. Or…at least all the ones in the McHenry Meijer. And while I politely smiled and nodded while this woman spoke, inside my head I was screaming, “Unless you simultaneously grew a baby in your uterus, and a tiny unicorn in your ass JUST SHUT UP! NOBODY CARES!”

 

DREAMS. The only thing I can compare it to is hearing about someone else’s dreams in vivid detail. Katelyn does that to me all the time. “….and then Justin Bieber was there, and he had his shirt off and we flew away on a magic carpet, only the carpet was made of kittens!” Mmmmmhmmmm……that’s nice sweetie. Kittens. Bieber. Fucking awesome. As a side note – I’m pretty sure she knows I’m not listening. Every now and then she quizzes me on that shit. “Mom, remember that dream I told you about last week??” Um, no.

 

MYSTICAL SECRETS. So I guess what I’m saying is, unless you hold some mystical secrets to making labor painless, catching up on my laundry while simultaneously napping, or how to turn stretch marks into gummy worms so I can just eat them and they disappear – keep your stories to yourself in the grocery store!