Over sharing….all the time

CrossFit, Pregnancy, and some other random thoughts

Irrational Annoyance April 30, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 2:37 pm

Brady playing in the rainSIGN. Brady turns two in less than a month. It’s actually almost 3 weeks exactly until he’s a big two year old. Know what he can say? Nothing. Not a word. Actually I take that back. He says “dadadadada” and “Uh” (half of the word “up”). Wow. Thank God we taught him sign language, right? He can sign almost 45 words! WRONG.

 

 NOISE. It’s not that I don’t want him to sign. It’s just that sometimes sign language SUCKS, and here’s why. Every sign he makes is accompanied by this little “eh eh eh eh” noise. Every. Single. Sign. On its own it isn’t an offensive noise. It doesn’t sound annoying or even bothersome – until I’ve heard it nonstop for the last 15 hours. Every 2 minutes, “eh eh eh eh”. The only thing I can compare it to is if you had to listen to the same song on repeat all day. At first it’s ok….but you get about 2 hours into it, and that shit’s annoying.

 

ASS MOM. Man, don’t I sound like a jerk today? Or at the very least I’m a complete ass Mom. Maybe it’s the heat. It’s making me irrationally annoyed. After all isn’t “eh eh eh eh” accompanied by a sign better than just “eh eh eh eh” followed by random pointing? I can’t even imagine my level of insanity if I didn’t know what “eh eh eh eh” meant. Although, I don’t actually need to know about every airplane he sees in the sky. Seriously. He can spot those things from 35,000 miles away. It’s insane.

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Oh snap….this shit just got real April 24, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 2:12 pm

destroy pink horcruxGIFT. This past weekend we received our very first gift for our baby girl that’s on the way. Keep in mind that it was a gift bag full of pink adorableness, not some ominous dark weight on my soul. Yet I have found this pink polka dotted treasure has suddenly become a sinister Horcrux . As I searched my house for a place to store said gift I realized something – THERE’S NO PLACE TO PUT IT. Ergo, there is no room for the new baby. Crap.

 

DRIFT. The bag drifted between rooms for a few days. I’d see it, coo at the tiny pink clothes, and then move it somewhere else. It kind of reminded me of the Elf on the Shelf. It had magical powers and would find a new hiding place every day. Its’ current resting place is on the floor of my room next to the bin of maternity clothes (that also have no home). So I guess new baby and new baby’s belongings land in our room.

 

OOPS. As I’m trying to digest the thought of this tiny pink wearing person and all the things that will come with her arrival I made an epic mistake. I opened up my sleep log from Brady’s first few months of life. Suddenly sweat beads on my upper lip, my eyes start to get a little glassy, and I start to feel slightly nauseous. Holy Christ on a Bike….I’m going to have a barely sleeping, eating every 2 hours, crying for no apparent reason, newborn. AGAIN. AGH!

 

WHOA. Ok, deep breaths. You’ve done this twice before, and you are more than capable of handling this. I mean, how different could it be this time, right? For all I know, new baby could be a perfect sweet angel who comes out of the womb ready to sleep through the night. Maybe she will have a magical tummy that turns 2oz of breast milk into 12oz, and she’ll never, EVER spit up in my hair. She’ll be the baby that makes other Moms jealous. “Oh, most of the time I hardly know she’s there! She hardly makes a peep!” is what I’ll say as I stroll down to the park with Brady, sipping my Starbucks and slightly resembling a fairy tale Mom. Psh….yeah right.

 

ACTION. So it’s time to do some consolidating. Reorganizing. Purging. I need to find room in my bedroom for the new baby, her clothes, diapering needs, a co-sleeper, and possibly even a rocking chair. Lord knows my collection of CrossFit t-shirts could be thinned out a little…and maybe I could even learn to part with the treasure trove of bathings suits I haven’t worn in 5 years. And maybe, just MAYBE the floor length jewelry box that currently holds 3 pieces pieces of jewelry I haven’t worn since Clinton was president could find a new home. Don’t worry. It’s all gonna be ok. I got this all under control. *gulp*

 

I am not a fairy tale Mom April 23, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:24 pm

Mom humorSERIOUSLY. I don’t know how working Moms do it. It’s 2:30PM and I’m still bra-less, my baby is in his pajamas and the dog hasn’t even been fed. No seriously, how. HOW?! I’m 19 weeks pregnant today, and as I contemplate how working Moms get everything done, I’m simultaneously wondering how people with more than one baby get this shit done….I’m picturing a team of nannies wearing all white. They would alternate between singing sweet lullabies to my babies and hanging clothes on the line in the sunshine. A kind of Mary Poppins and Snuggle the Bear hybrid if you will. That’s gotta be the only way….

PERFECT. And then of course everyone has the “perfect Mom friend”. Oh, your dog is perfectly trained, your kids keep their rooms clean without being asked and you’ve never lost a sock in the laundry? Good for you. That’s so nice. Go fuck yourself. In my world you’re the tooth fairy. Or at the very least you’re the skinny bitch who eats gas station donuts every day and complains she can’t gain weight. You’re a fairy tale, a mythological creature. An anomaly. I don’t understand you, or where you come from.

FOR REALZ. The real Moms that I know sometimes go 3 days without washing their hair. (And real friends pretend not to notice) Real Moms count to three, lose their cool, and forget where their car keys are. Real Moms have set coffee on the roof of the car and driven away while talking on the cordless house phone instead of their cell phone. Real Moms run out of time, forget appointments, and don’t always get everything done.

CRAZY. So here I am, surrounded by baskets of laundry nobody wants to fold, tripping over toys while burning dinner, and I’m smiling. It could be that I am finally Tom Cruise crazy, or maybe I’m smiling because I am at peace with the chaos. I know I’m definitely a “real” Mom and not a fairy tale Mom. There might not be a team of nannies here brushing my hair and singing to my babies, but at least I manage to keep all my children alive, fed, and dressed (hey, pajamas count!) AND I keep a good sense of humor about it. So you can keep your perfect dog and your magic eyes that never look puffy….I’m keeping it real. 🙂

 

A Tribute to My Boobs April 22, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 12:54 pm

daddys boyFINE. It has been a long, long, LONG time since I could claim that my boobs are all mine. Brady has decided all on his own that he’s a big boy and doesn’t want Mommy’s boobs anymore. I breastfed him for 1 year, 10 months and 17 days. That’s 98 weeks and 1 day. Or just a nice even 687 days. FINE. No really, fine. Not like in a “Fine, just go without me” kind of way where you don’t really mean it. I’m ACTUALLY glad he’s done. This gives me approximately 153 days of total breast liberation.

 

FIELD TRIP. What should me and my boobs do with all this free time? I feel like I should have some kind of celebration. Maybe a parade. There could be balloons, lions jumping through hoops, and maybe even a bounce house. And cake. Definitely cake. Or maybe I should take my boobs somewhere nice for the weekend. I considered prancing around fancy bra stores, but that would just be silly. These are my pregnant boobs….not my real boobs anyways.

 

REAL BRA. I’m so excited that I get to wear real people bras! Not ones with clips, and funny fold down flaps, meant so my breasts could make a fast getaway or something. The bra I have on today has no trap doors, just regular clasps in the back! And the good news is, I don’t even have to take this bra off unless I WANT TO. Hot damn. I’m excited!

 

BOND SHMOND. In all seriousness (something I’m not all that familiar with) breastfeeding was a great experience. Although, I’ll be honest. I thought it was going to be this super bonding experience for me and Brady…but he would much, MUCH rather be by his Daddy than me these days. See this picture? That’s how Brady and Bill spend their time together. Snuggly and happy to just hold each other. Isn’t it sweet? Yeah, real sweet until I have to go somewhere with Brady and he screams like I’m stealing him from Walmart.

 

A Heavenly Experience April 14, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:59 pm

SURPRISE. Have you ever had an experience that was so magical and amazing that it took you completely by surprise? I have only had 2 or 3 experiences like that in my life and one of them was at my 16 week ultrasound appointment. I found a place in Milwaukee called My First Peekaboo. They’re a small boutique type ultrasound company that specializes in gender determination and getting some of the most amazing pictures of your unborn baby you’ll ever seen. The technician, Anna, even published a book full of cool ultrasound pictures!

 

BIG DAY. Not only was the gentlemen who answered the phone over the top nice and professional, he was actually delightful to talk to. He wasn’t pushy or sales-y. I could hear over the phone how much he loved his job, and that doesn’t happen very often. I was in phone sales for 5 years and in my opinion, he was like the Bruce Lee of phone sales. Show me your ways Sensei! So when the big day came around, I was excited, but had no expectations of what it would be like. It was like a magical spa ultrasound movie… it was like Mario Tricocci but with a tour of my uterus. The ultrasound room was dimly lit with symphony versions of lullabies playing overhead. The bed for me to lay on was one notch higher in comfort than my bed at home. At the foot of the bed there is a huge projection screen and the whole ultrasound was projected onto the wall. To top if all off, there was a live web feed of the whole ultrasound so friends and family could all watch it live! Get out the popcorn! Time to see Jennie’s placenta!

 

DRUM ROLL. After checking and rechecking, Anna shared with us that we are having a baby girl. A GIRL. We like the name Avery, so that’s what I’ll call her for now. Avery looked so….real. At one point we even saw her yawn. Sometimes you forget that under all this maternal storage tissue, hormones, naps and horse pills, there’s an actual living being INSIDE ME. A tiny human. My ity bity avocado sized daughter. She’s not a teenager yet, thank God. But I swear at one point she might have given me an eye roll. Then again I could just be paranoid.

16 week gender determination ultrasound from Jennie Yundt on Vimeo.