PARTY. Do you see that drink in my hand? It’s cranberry juice. With a lime. CRAZY, I know. We had our 5 year anniversary party for our gym this past weekend and all I could think about was how I wish I could have a drink. It’s like being drunk unlocks a secret fun portal. Know who CAN’T unlock the portal? Pregnant ladies. Psh.
EPIPHANY. I realize it probably sounds like I’m a raging alcoholic, but I’m really not. I don’t usually drink unless we’re out with friends, and I try and limit myself to 3 drinks. (otherwise shit gets REAL SILLY) As I was standing there on Saturday watching my friends rack up a $4,500 bar tab in 6 hours I thought to myself, “self…why do you find it so hard to be silly and fun without drinking?” And that’s a really good question. The good news is I have like, 239 more days left to figure it out.
BARF. I have been feeling particularly nauseous this past week so I was relieved when I woke up on Saturday feeling like a normal human being. I’m still SO DAMN TIRED. I get it, my body is making a placenta or something, but could it just hurry the hell up? I mean, how could it possibly take this long?! FINISH GODDAMMIT! I want to call time on that shit so I can get back to having a normal level of energy again. Instead my house is a disaster, there’s a mountain of laundry, and I nap for like 2 hours a day. “Oh, mexican takeout food for dinner again anyone?” “No sweetheart I’m sorry. You’ll have to wear your gym uniform dirty AGAIN this week. I’ll get around to washing it once it has grown mold.”