14. It’s easy to forget what it’s like to be 14yrs old. I’m trying to remember what my life was like when I was a freshmen in high school, and I don’t remember many super fun moments. I can remember a stupid senior making fun of me for having like 15 tampons in my purse. (Hey, you can never be too prepared) I also remember feeling super awkward and out of place. I felt too old for some things, too young for most everything else…..and it was frustrating.
KATE. As I stood in the kitchen doing dishes I could hear Katelyn humming a Justin Bieber song. She giggles every time she hears his name, and even tells me she’s going to marry him some day. When was the last time you had a fantasy about ACTUALLY marrying someone famous? Oh, right. When you were a child. She might be 5’7″ tall….but she’s still very much a child. Still a baby.
REMEMBER. I sometimes get Mom amnesia. I have never claimed to be a perfect Mother. Hell, I’ll tell you right now that I’m a pretty crappy mother when it comes to parenting a teenager. I expect her to have rational thoughts, discuss things like an adult, and accept the rules that she has to live by. Would I expect the same from Brady? Hell no! It’s because it’s easy to remember what you can expect out of him; you just expect little things because he is a little person. “Wow Brady, you didn’t throw your plate on the floor when you were done eating! Good job!”
GROWN. The problem is that Katelyn is this full grown tiny person. She gives the illusion of maturity simply because she looks older. Sigh. Every day has been a battle with her for the last 2 weeks. She gets punished, and then digs her heels in and won’t comply with the punishment. So she gets more punished. But then she digs her heels in again and still doesn’t do what is required of her. So she gets more punished AGAIN. I realize that yelling isn’t going to solve this problem, and neither is punching her in the mouth (although I won’t rule it out if I need to use that later).
WISDOM. I’m reading a parenting book about parenting through connection instead of coercion and fear. It’s telling me that my teenager has sprouted a 2nd head because she needs to feel more “connected” to me as her mother. Well….WTF BOOK!? How am I supposed to create a loving connection with a child who has gotten herself grounded, banished to taking the bus to school, has no TV privileges, and isn’t going to be a nice person to me in the foreseeable future? HMMM, AUTHOR….WHAT DO I DO NOW!? Guess I’ll have to wait until all of her punishments have been seen through before I can start working that “loving Mom” angle again. Well, that’s if she ever actually complies with them. Ugh. Grrr.