Over sharing….all the time

CrossFit, Pregnancy, and some other random thoughts

My Full Grown Tiny Person February 27, 2013

Filed under: Nonsense — Jennie Yundt @ 2:15 pm

Kate Homecoming14. It’s easy to forget what it’s like to be 14yrs old. I’m trying to remember what my life was like when I was a freshmen in high school, and I don’t remember many super fun moments. I can remember a stupid senior making fun of me for having like 15 tampons in my purse. (Hey, you can never be too prepared) I also remember feeling super awkward and out of place. I felt too old for some things, too young for most everything else…..and it was frustrating.

KATE. As I stood in the kitchen doing dishes I could hear Katelyn humming a Justin Bieber song. She giggles every time she hears his name, and even tells me she’s going to marry him some day. When was the last time you had a fantasy about ACTUALLY marrying someone famous? Oh, right. When you were a child. She might be 5’7″ tall….but she’s still very much a child. Still a baby.

REMEMBER. I sometimes get Mom amnesia. I have never claimed to be a perfect Mother. Hell, I’ll tell you right now that I’m a pretty crappy mother when it comes to parenting a teenager. I expect her to have rational thoughts, discuss things like an adult, and accept the rules that she has to live by. Would I expect the same from Brady? Hell no! It’s because it’s easy to remember what you can expect out of him; you just expect little things because he is a little person. “Wow Brady, you didn’t throw your plate on the floor when you were done eating! Good job!”

GROWN. The problem is that Katelyn is this full grown tiny person. She gives the illusion of maturity simply because she looks older. Sigh. Every day has been a battle with her for the last 2 weeks. She gets punished, and then digs her heels in and won’t comply with the punishment. So she gets more punished. But then she digs her heels in again and still doesn’t do what is required of her. So she gets more punished AGAIN. I realize that yelling isn’t going to solve this problem, and neither is punching her in the mouth (although I won’t rule it out if I need to use that later).

WISDOM. I’m reading a parenting book about parenting through connection instead of coercion and fear. It’s telling me that my teenager has sprouted a 2nd head because she needs to feel more “connected” to me as her mother. Well….WTF BOOK!? How am I supposed to create a loving connection with a child who has gotten herself grounded, banished to taking the bus to school, has no TV privileges, and isn’t going to be a nice person to me in the foreseeable future? HMMM, AUTHOR….WHAT DO I DO NOW!? Guess I’ll have to wait until all of her punishments have been seen through before I can start working that “loving Mom” angle again. Well, that’s if she ever actually complies with them. Ugh. Grrr.

 

Where’s the belly photos? February 21, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 3:42 pm

last time abs this time absEMAIL. I got an email from someone asking when I was going to post belly photos from this pregnancy. Last time around I did a fair job of taking pictures along the way and posting them to the blog. Well….turns out the last time around I was just smug. What an ass I was for rubbing it in everyone’s face how skinny and pregnant I was. “tee hee, look at my big belly!” It was so smooth and shiny and flat. It was almost like my abs just had extra abs on top of them instead of a baby. I was an asshole.

SHY. This time has to be different. I never quite leaned out the way I wanted to, and I no longer wish to bare my belly. Plus, I feel like I have a particularly ugly belly button. It just makes me sad. Like, ending of Steel Magnolias sad. Wait….is it the baby bloat that’s making me sad, or is it all these hormones. Shit. I never can tell. ANYWAYS. I don’t feel like sharing photos just yet. I am 10 weeks pregnant after all….and my feelings change from one second to the next. Just ask Bill.

BARF. These last 2 weeks have been hard. Lifetime should make a TV series dedicated to just how hard my life has been. Ok, that’s a little over the top. In a nut shell, I’m constantly nauseous and dog tired. All I want to do is sleep, eat carbs, and then sleep some more. Morning sickness?? Ain’t Nobody got time for dat!  I have only been able to make it to the gym about 3 times per week and my workouts are about 3/4-assed. Not quite half assed yet. Pull-ups are the absolute worst for me. I still feel strong, but something about the movements makes me super queasy. I even un-drank my ginger ale the other morning after the WOD. By the way, did you know ginger ale has 39 grams of carbs IN ONE CAN? Before I checked my nutrition facts, I had consumed 2 cans in one day and nearly DIED. Are they hoping to cure morning sickness by just carb-ing it into submission? Jesus. Good thing Bill found me some ginger tea instead.

 

So God made a Hormonal Pregnant Woman February 12, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 1:23 pm

I'm so fing happyRAINBOW. Just to clarify, being pregnant doesn’t always make me angry. Although, based on my blog posts I’m sure that’s how it seems. Don’t worry my friends, there is a whole rainbow of emotions that I go through in a typical day.

 

HAPPY. Sometimes my hormones make me happy. Like, crazy emotional, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, twirling in the tulips happy. And because life is full of such beauty, it makes me cry.

 

COMMERCIALS. Did you watch the SuperBowl? Did you see the “So God made a Farmer” commercial? How about the stupid Clydesdale one? Jesus H Christ on a BIKE! You sell trucks. And beer. Making pregnant ladies weep hardly seems like an effective sales strategy. I mean, I was in a room with 40 other people trying super hard to keep my emotions in check and WHAM! Right in front of me is something so beautiful and amazing that I feel a lump in my throat. Don’t worry. I held it together. In order to squash the lump, I just jammed my mouth full of more taco dip. All better!

 

Being sober is shitty February 11, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 10:50 pm

Bill and Jennie 5 year anniversary PartyPARTY. Do you see that drink in my hand? It’s cranberry juice. With a lime. CRAZY, I know. We had our 5 year anniversary party for our gym this past weekend and all I could think about was how I wish I could have a drink. It’s like being drunk unlocks a secret fun portal. Know who CAN’T unlock the portal? Pregnant ladies. Psh.

 

EPIPHANY. I realize it probably sounds like I’m a raging alcoholic, but I’m really not. I don’t usually drink unless we’re out with friends, and I try and limit myself to 3 drinks. (otherwise shit gets REAL SILLY) As I was standing there on Saturday watching my friends rack up a $4,500 bar tab in 6 hours I thought to myself, “self…why do you find it so hard to be silly and fun without drinking?” And that’s a really good question. The good news is I have like, 239 more days left to figure it out.

 

BARF. I have been feeling particularly nauseous this past week so I was relieved when I woke up on Saturday feeling like a normal human being. I’m still SO DAMN TIRED. I get it, my body is making a placenta or something, but could it just hurry the hell up? I mean, how could it possibly take this long?! FINISH GODDAMMIT! I want to call time on that shit so I can get back to having a normal level of energy again. Instead my house is a disaster, there’s a mountain of laundry, and I nap for like 2 hours a day. “Oh, mexican takeout food for dinner again anyone?” “No sweetheart I’m sorry. You’ll have to wear your gym uniform dirty AGAIN this week. I’ll get around to washing it once it has grown mold.”

 

Things to say if you like being punched in the FACE February 2, 2013

Filed under: Pregnancy — Jennie Yundt @ 5:28 pm

FucupcakesI consider myself an amicable person. I was the middle child growing up and I’m a pisces which, naturally, makes me a problem solver. A compromiser. A keeper of the peace. Let me just say all that goes out the window during week 7 of pregnancy. There are about 78 things that made me want to punch someone in the FACE this week. I have broken them down into a list of the top 5:

1. “Look at your baby bump! You’re showing ALREADY!” Oh, you mean this tiny zygote the size of a blueberry is already visible? I don’t think so asshole. What you’re seeing isn’t called a baby bump, it’s called being BLOATED. Thanks for pointing that out.

2. “I thought you were only napping for 30 minutes.” Did I say that? I meant to say 30 minutes EACH SIDE. I’m sorry the tidal wave of hormones and growing a baby inside me is making me a little sleepy.

3. “Since you can’t drink, you can be our designated driver!” Yes, thank you, master of the obvious. Nothing would bring me more joy than carting your drunk asses around until 1:30 in the morning with toothpicks holding my eyelids open. The only thing that could make this night more fun is if you keep asking me repeatedly “Are you having fun? Are you having fun? We want you to have fun!” Yeah, time of my life, thanks for asking. Being sober is THE BOMB. I’ll be sure to get a 30 minute nap tomorrow to make up for it.

4. “Did you eat ALL the ice cream?” Uh, yeah dick head, I did. But only because we ran out of pickles. I know I’m supposed to be eating nothing but fermented cod liver oil and beef liver to help our baby become a super genius, but occasionally I just need some fucking Oberweiss. It’s like….part of the pregnant lady constitution.

5. “Should you be eating that?” WHAT?! Suddenly I’m pregnant and you get to question my food choices? I ate like the Queen of Paleoland for the last 5 years. I think I’m entitled to some gluten free rice crackers or Muenster cheese. Know what else? I’ll probably eat some sushi while I’m at it. Oh, and some raw cookie dough. Pretty much, unless I’m about to accidentally start snacking on cat turds, keep your MOUTH SHUT. I don’t need you to be my food conscience.