FUN. In an effort to keep my life fun and exciting, I signed myself and a friend (Kinsy) up for
pole dancing lessons. Because nothing screams “sexy sex kitten” more than a pregnant lady doing fireman swings on the pole. I mean, Christina Applegate managed to make it look provocative, so why not me?
WALK. Without a doubt, there is nothing sexy and provocative about the way I walk around a pole. The lady teaching the class does this amazing saunter/walk. She moves more like a cat than a person. I mean, how do you wiggle your butt, sway your hips, drag your foot behind you AND hang onto the pole all in one motion? The physics of that was making my head hurt. My walk did NOT look like hers. It must be all the progesterone making my joints loose or something.
WARNING. Probably my favorite part of class was the two older ladies who were “experienced” pole dance lessons takers. They were telling us that we should “get ready to be sweaty because it’s a REALLY good workout. You’ll probably be sore not tomorrow, but the next day. You have to be like…..really strong to do this stuff. Oh, and we have to do 5 push-ups in our warm-up, but you can do them on your knees.” Fast forward 15 minutes and Kinsy is practically doing clapping push-ups, I’m doing strict push-ups, and everyone is staring at us. Yep. We brought our big girl muscles to the party BITCHES!
MEOW. All in all, it was a fun experience. I didn’t learn nearly as many fancy tricks as I was hoping for, but that’s probably a good thing. Too much spinning makes Momma want to puke. I was hoping to channel my inner stealthy puma, but instead I just looked like the crazy cat hissing in the corner. *shrugs* I guess it’s not possible to be good at snatching AND pole dancing.