THE STUFF. One of the things that drove me nuts about having a teeny tiny human being was the fact that they required SO MUCH STUFF. I mean….the baby weighs 7lbs. How is it that he requires 17 different contraptions to sit in, a special bath tub, dangley things to hang over his face for stimulation, 88 things that squeak, 557 things that have blinky lights, and 7 bins of clothes?? Every time I tried leaving my house I found myself wishing I had a mule to help carry some of the stuff. There was the diaper bag, the travel swing, the pack N play and the stupid cart scrunchie that took longer to get on the cart than it did to shop. Is my life like the Luvs commercial? Was I a typical “first time Mom” even though Brady was technically my 2nd child? I must have been. Damn that was a lot of stuff.
DEJAVU. So now that another tiny human being is growing inside me, all that stuff has to come back. Would you believe that I gave all my baby stuff away? Some of it I sold, but most of it got given away or returned to its original owners. How stupid was THAT!? Every time a piece of baby gear left my home I celebrated. I waived goodbye to it with happy tears in my eyes because I CAN’T STAND LOOKING AT IT. I have a small house without lots of extra room for an army of baby gear. Granted, there’s room for my decorative clock collection, my hand painted pots, and a king’s ransom worth of Lululemon….but there ISN’T extra space for swings and exersaucers! ARGH! Add to that the fact that every spare inch of space is currently being used to store Brady’s toys, and now we have a recipe for disaster. My house might actually start listing sideways from the sheer weight of tiny human being gear.
PACKING LIGHT. This time around, I’m going to be streamlined. I’m only going to have the bare minimum. I mean….babies can just take a bath in the sink, right? Or maybe I could just use a pack of wipes on him? I dunno. And an exersaucer? Really? You don’t need that either. You have an older brother who is capable of bringing you toys that are fun and amazing, so you shouldn’t need a device to help keep them at your finger tips. Psh. Don’t be lazy, BABY. And I might not even bring a diaper bag with me anymore. Oh, you’re poopey? Well tough beans. That’ll teach you to regulate your bowel movements for times when Mommy is at HOME. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.