How long do you think I’ll keep track of my life in terms of “weeks postpartum”? Am I one of those lame parents that will refer to my 2 year old as my “26 month old”? Sheesh. Ok, next post I’m am for SURE not going to say how many weeks postpartum I am.
Last weekend we enjoyed some more relaxation in Door County. This time, we left the crabby 13 year old at home. Ok, not totally at home. She was in Las Vegas with her Dad. Just to enlighten everyone on how she spent her time in Vegas, I have compiled a list:
Top 5 Stupid things my 13 year old did in Vegas
1. Shaved her eyebrows (they’re like….halfway gone in the middle)
2. Bought stiletto heels (because that’s practical)
3. Lost her cell phone
4. Bought a leopard print bra (REALLY?)
5. Ate 1lb of jelly beans in one sitting
Ok, I made that last one up just to make the list seem better. I mean, who has a list of the top FOUR things?! Psh. Nobody. That’s dumb. But yeah, she returned from Vegas with these tiny, 1-1/2 inch long eyebrows. She didn’t want to have a unibrow, so she just took the razor and off they came. The good news is that I’m 99% sure they’ll grow back.
Last weekend was my last weekend of solid foods for a while, so I ate like a complete asshole. Who has mint oreos with breakfast? “Mmmm, these scrambled eggs are delicious…pass the oreos please!” Yep, that was me. The damage wasn’t too bad, but I feel like there’s a honeybadger in my stomach right now trying to claw his way out.
What’s that you say? Last week of solid foods? Yep, you read that right. Bill has a new experiment in the works that I have lovingly named the Skinny Hippo. It’s 2 weeks of liquid nutrition followed by an undetermined period of gradually adding back in solid meals. Let’s hope I don’t go insane from lack of chewing.